Pappu can't dance saala...

I still remember...I was in 3rd standard...When my teacher asked the class "Who wants to dance in annual function this year?"…I immediately raised my hand...I attended practice sessions with great enthusiasm...While everyone else could dance with an ease, I repeatedly forgot my dance steps...and kept looking what steps others were performing...only to disturb the flow of dance sequence..My teacher immediately spotted the immense talent I had in dancing...and gave me a key and strategic role/position/location in the dance...I was told to play the role of Tree...And around me, all other boys and girls danced..Such a critical responsibility I carried on my young shoulders...only to make it a successful performance...Well I was instructed to wave my hands (and stand still!) when others danced...In the actual performance...I forgot to do even these steps(?) !!...And My mother still regrets that - to make me appear like a Tree, she had hired a dress (of Green Tree) from Magan dresswala and wasted Rs.50 (when purchasing power of a rupee was so high!)…
When I was a teenager, I fulfilled my wish of dancing...by dancing on the streets during Ganpati festival...Initially I was so scared to dance in the front of public...I myself applied red-coloured 'Gulaal' on my face (later public became red-faced!) so that no one could recognise me...and I enjoyed a lot...I moved my legs, I waved my hands in whichever direction I could...I jumped in the air...My dance style was so unique and had such a startling effect...that there was a man who had drank alcohol heavily and was literally rolling himself on the road in the pretext of dance...He got up on his feet when I started dancing and ran away from me...
I also remember the chocolate day in my college...I was in FYJC and had 1st jam session of my college life on that day...There were some guys who could not dance at all and were looking around whether anyone is watching them while dancing...We immediately formed a group...And danced together for all the 5 years...For all these years, other groups preferred to stay away from us when we danced...To de-risk their bodies and lives from any injury...
After so many years of practice, I became confident about my dancing skills and thought I had a good chance in Bollywood as a dancer...And why not?? If Sunny Deol and Sunil Shetty can dance in movies...there was no reason to disbelieve my dancing skills...(Anything can happen in Bollywood…On 27th June 2008, 2 movies got released with the similar-sounding titles...Thoda Pyar Thoda Magic and Thodi Life Thoda Magic!!) I had set Bollywood movies as my career path; until that unfortunate incident happened in my eventful life...I had gone to a discotheque only because my friend insisted (who obviously had never seen me dance before)...As soon as I started dancing, there were high decibel noises and chaos as some girls started shouting...Initially I thought I was getting such a terrific response from the crowd...But I realized soon that I had broken a girl's nose and hurt 2 other girls’ delicate toes...Before I could know what was happening, security guard had thrown me out of the discotheque and I was lying unconscious on roads...I need to mention here, as a brave person, I did fight with him till the end...I had almost managed to hit him on his nose...but he escaped from my brutal and lethal assault as I was punching my fists in the air only...and my friend told me later...that 'despite' 'this'fight', I was constantly reminding them about my fundamental right to dance as per Indian Constitution...Incidentally when security guard had attacked me...this friend refused to identify me as his friend...But he only arranged for ambulance and hospital etc etc (only after seeing Security guard's back)...such a true friend he was...
When I regained my consciousness in hospital (and I didn’t forget to deliver a customary Bollywood dialogue "Main kaha hoon?"...such a Bollywood buff I am)...I had to quit dancing with great courage and tear-filled eyes...only because my doctor advised to keep myself away from dancing as it could prove fatal to my life and injurious to others' lives...Yes...I know Bollywood lost its ‘could-be’ all-time great dancer...But kya karein...Destiny had other thoughts in her mind...
To forget my unfulfilled dream, I started writing...as I knew that Bollywood doesn’t have any writer who can come up with original script without watching a DVD of foreign movie...My friends say that I write reasonably good...(because they compare my articles with my dancing skills)...still...they always say..."But pappu can't dance saala!!"...

Summer2008 : Journey of Life...Season of Change...

Even though my dad looks like Anupam Kher, I am not so fortunate to have long 'hair' like Anupam's 'heir' Sikandar Kher....While his 2nd movie Summer 2007 tanked at Box-office, my Summer 2008 was also a big flop...
When I started preparing Summer Report for submitting it to my college, I was clueless about Key Learnings from my summer job...And when I thought about it...I wrote this blog!

These are few things I learned/realized from my summer job:
1) My job (in fact my destiny!) forced me to travel to the places where I had never dared to venture into....While I wandered the Continent sprawling from Andheri to Virar...I realised that how inconsiderate I was towards my friends who came from such far-flung places to our college...and I sweared not to ridicule them ever...Really..it was a journey of life...probably I would never get to travel so much in my life 'again'...But it was a-'Gain' for me...as I could learn the name of stations beyond Andheri...
2) Waiting for customers to interact with them...I used to stand there for 'long' hours...and being stranded at my workplace, I used to 'long' to return to home...At the end of the day...I felt my legs did not be'long' to my body..And I was happy to realize that I could stand on my own feet...It also answered a question which had remained a puzzle for me since my childhood..."How does a Horse sleep while standing?"...Now I have become perfect in applying this particular skill...
3) In my college days...I always wondered how to introduce myself to a pretty girl and start talking to her...Summer Job gave me an opportunity to learn this art...while conducting survey to collect the data...I liked this part (of my job!) too much...
4) True friends are those who will always be with you in the times of difficulty...I came to know who my true friend was during summers...And that was my Wrist-watch!!...I spent every hour there by looking at it...That was only ray of hope which brightened those gloomy days...(Even though my wrist-watch didn't have Radium in it!!)
5) I realized how difficult it is to talk to customers and convince them to opt for what they don't want...so I took an oath...that I would talk politely to all the surveyors/Salesmen (and saleswomen also!)/Tele-callers/Marketing people...Because I would never forget that...in the past...I was on the other side of the fence!!! (This time I am seriously thinking of taking up Marketing !!)

Anyways...I am not going to submit Hard-copy of my summer report to my college...I will give them just a link of my blog...Summer Blog...or Summer Slog? (Though it was part-time summers!)

When I entered into a Bank......

"I AM NOT HERE TO ROB THE BANK, ALL I WANT TO SAY IS THAT I DONT WANT ANY CREDIT CARD OR LOAN FROM YOUR BANK.......STOP CALLING ME........." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am a kind of person who can not say No to anyone...who can be easily convinced...especially by Marketing people...and I realized this when I visited a Branch of a Private bank...

I wanted to deposit some cash in my saving a/c. As I entered that branch, I found number of suspicious people ready to pounce on me.. I went to a beautiful lady sitting at the teller counter and told her about my intentions...I mean about Cash deposit...
Lady: "What is the Deposit Amount,Sir?"
Me: "Rs.8000"
Lady: "Sir, we have special Lucky Draw scheme for cash withdrawals above than or equal to Rs.10,000!! And I am sure that you wont miss this opportunity to get Lucky...etc etc..."
I felt so special after talking to that pretty lady...determined to change my haath ka lucky-r...I went to withdraw Rs. 2000 from ATM Machine and deposited in the same account again...just to be eligible for that scheme!!!
Then she asked me whether I wanted to invest in Mutual funds..I asked her what was her profile...of a teller or a sales-person...Seeing me as a vulnerable person...She just ignored my question...and started talking about advantages of Mutual Funds schemes...Growth story of Indian Economy...Fortune of Stock Markets...I realised that she is not just a Teller...but also a Story-Teller and Fortune-Teller!!! I ended up in 'investing' in various MF schemes in few minutes...as I didnt believe 'in-wasting' others' time...
As I was about to leave that counter, those marketing people launched an attack on me...and after talking to every one of them...I had applied for
-A savings A/c (though I had already one)
-A Current A/c (though I don't run any business)
-An International debit Card (though I have never ventured out of Maharashtra)
-2 Credit Cards (Though I dont have any credit standing even at local Kiranaa Store)
-Life Insurance Policies/Plans (though no one is concerned about risks faced by me in life and everyone is interested to be nominee of those policies)
-Each type of loans that bank offers (I don't have payment history...Forget about Repayment history!!)
-Registration for each Free facility provided by Bank...I asked them 100 times about hidden charges...Yet they managed to convince me...and I remained oblivious of their 'hidden' motives....

After spending 3 hrs there, Investment Relationship Manager (another lady) ordered a coffee for me...I poked my finger inside that cup and tried to search something...She asked me what was I doing...I said "Are there any hidden charges for coffee?"...She laughed so loudly...that caused coffee to spill on my shirt...

At the time of saying Good-bye to her....She smiled at me...I was about to ask her one question...but she told me quickly..."Sir, we dont charge any fees for smiling at customers!!"....I was a happy and relieved man while stepping out of branch...

Morale of the Story: Private Bank (Retail Banking) is no longer a place for Finance professionals to work at...Marketing professionals have great future here !!

Disclaimer: Though characters are fictional, this story is based on real life experiences at Bank...and I had thought of this while sitting idle in a branch for 3 hrs!!