Suggestions for Economic Growth..

Today ET reported that Industrial Production is growing at slowest rate on the back of sluggish demand...Even Finance minister was heard asking banks to lower their lending rates so that people will take more loans, buy more consumer durables/goods and this way, Indian economy will achieve higher rate of growth...While everyone is thinking of ways to boost the demand in the economy, I want to suggest a way to achieve it (and which no one has ever thought of yet)....
Best way to boost demand for the products and increase the rate of Industrial Production growth and GDP growth, is MARRIAGE.....Now let me explain how it can be done...here is the 10-point Agenda...
1) We have the minimum age limit (21 for boys and 18 for girls) to get married...make this as maximum age limit for marriage....E.g. A boy has to get married before he turns 21, no excuses...
2) A special package for subisidised loans for Wedding ceremony expenses should be announced....Money wasted on this ceremony should be minimum Rs.10 lakhs...it is compulsory...you will get loans at concessional rates...Objective is to help Wedding Organisers and Catering Services grow...(By the way...every loan is categorised into 2 types: Productive and Non-Productive...this type of loan should be categorised as 'Re-productive'..)
3)Travelling and Hotels/Resorts industry will get more and more business with increase in travellers opting for honeymoon package..
4) Marriage creates the need for separate homes...Housing industry will boom...and in turn Cement companies...
5) To please your wife and convince her that you love her (only) a lot, you will have to shell out your hard-earned money on Golden Ornaments and Diamonds...so that this industry will grow...what if Gold costs Rs.11,350 per 10 gms...after all, you (have to) love her ...at any cost...
6) To avoid domestic quarrels on daily basis...one has to bear the expenses of shopping (I mean wife's shopping), Movies in multiplex, hotelling, etc...don' worry my brother...National Expenditure is increasing...Don't you know how National Income is calculated on that basis?
7) Every wife must have at least 2 credit cards....having tie-ups with malls and shopping bazaars.. Banking industry should be provided with the mobile numbers of newly wed couples, so that their Customer Care (?) Executives can call them for tele-marketing...(No need to panic...they won't call during nights)
8) Special mobile tariff plans should be launched for housewives and newly wed couples so that Telecom industry also may join the party...
9) Make it compulsory for couples (married only) to have babies right from the first year...more the no. of children is actually 'Good News' for economy!!!...No need to worry how earth can meet the growing needs...Increase in Population generates additional demand...That's what I learned in the Economics (Chapter: Demand and its Determinants)..
10) Finally...Special type of Loans should be offered to pay the interest on the Loans taken earlier...No matter how many people get destroyed in Debt Trap...Economic Growth is more important...

L.P.P......Life Partner Problem...

I wanted to get married...I was looking for a wife (obviously)....I thought, why not use knowledge of subjects learned in MBA syllabus?...
First comes Cost Management...So I listed down Cost factors which might arise in my life after marriage..after preparing Cost Statement, I found out that costs are so huge and there is no profit at all !....but as it was compulsory to get married (just like minimum production required to meet committed quantity), I had no other option....
Then comes Operations Research...I found out maximum amount that I could spend per month on each cost factors like shopping, hotelling, movies etc etc....with these variables and my budget, I prepared constraints for my L.P.P...then I wrote objective function of L.P.P which would seek to minimise occurence of these cost factors in a month...any girl which would be in the feasible region of L.P.P, minimising the Cost function, deserved to be my life partner !...
How to find such ideal match ??...here I decided to use the Marketing Subject...I selected Simulated Test Marketing method to address this issue...this method attracted responses of around 100 girls !! (I was surprised with such a good response and was on cloud nine...)...I gave Rs.2000 to each girl and sent them to a mall for shopping...any girl spending minimum amount out of Rs.2000, was meant to be my life partner...
When all girls returned after shopping, I tried to figure out who had saved the maximum amount of money...Then I realised that they had actually spent the entire amount...I asked for explanation and they told me...."It is better to spend entire amount than marrying you !!"....and they left cursing me for giving such a small amount to each of them...(now I came to know why so many girls had gathered in first place)...

I am still wondering whether my knowledge about these subjects is inadequate or me,as a product, failed... hmmm....at least I have minimised my losses to Rs.200,000 !!!.....

India 'Down:- Under' Pressure ??

Now Australia is leading the Test Series 2-0...when I heard this news, I thought whether it is shameful for us or not...and my conclusion is...Australia should feel ashamed the way they have achieved this win and how Team Australia and Australian media has behaved...
Points to be considered are:-
1) The champions should be able to win a match by their performance only, not with the help of umpires...
2) When even umpires could not end Sourav dada's inning... umpires had to take help of Ricky ponting, instead of third umpire...
3) Ideally one wrong decision should not affect performance of a team which is challenging Champions...but there was not only one, but were many wrong decisions (in fact, one dismissal can change the outcome of a match)
4) Australians are known for sledging and their agression...now when Harbhajan is doing the same thing with their players, Australian media is criticizing him...that shows how quick they get frustrated when someone launches counter-attack on them...
5) Andrew Symonds thinks, whatever people talk about him is a case of racial abuse...may be there is need to correct his 'perception' of others...and what happened when Australian spectators racially abused Muralidharan?..

And one more thing...those who stay in India and support Team Australia...should not celebrate this win which is achieved by cheating....these people love australia just becuase it is no.1 team...if tomorrow Bangladesh becomes no.1, they will start loving Bangladesh...we are the true Team India fans and will remain loyal even if it gets whitewash in Australia...Even in defeats, we will calculate numbers, who has scored centuries and half-centuries from Team India...how their batting average has improved, etc, etc...We will derive the pleasure from statistics, if not win....

By the way, all the umpires (including Third Umpire) have been awarded Man of the Match prize and Andrew Symonds & Match referee have received the Nobel Prize for efforts towards elimination of racial abuse....

My New Year Resolutions....

I think it's time to make my this year's resolutions public....
Here they are...

1) I will stop wasting my time in chatting and orkutting...
2) Instead, I will spend my time on moneycontrol.com and other financial websites...
3) I will stop reading sports, page 3 and gossip columns in newspapers...
4) I will read Economic Times entirely...
5) I will stop supporting Indian Cricket Team...
6) I won't look at any beautiful girl.....

Now you can guess what will happen to these resoultions...Next year, same blog will appear here,of course, with new date :-)