It was 2 a.m. in the clock…and I was chatting online as usual…As I watched out of window, I saw a horrible creature hanging on a tree and waving his hand towards me…I got freezed there only as I realized that it was a ghost!!...And within no time, ghost came towards window, sat there and started talking to me...
Here is the account of what transpired between us that night…
Ghost: Hi dude!! Why did u get scared?
Me: Actually I couldn’t believe myself…Initially I thought that I saw my mirror image in window glass…Then I realized that you are a ghost !!...exact look-a-like of me…But why did u say Hi to me?
Ghost: When I looked at you through window, I thought this animal with horrible face and skele’toon’-like body belongs to my community… I wondered what you are doing inside home… Then I guessed you must be a human being…
I touched his feet…He blessed me…
Ghost: You are so well-cultured person! You touched my feet even though I am a ghost…
Me: Actually that’s not the case…I wanted to see whether your feet are really ulta or not…But why you are hanging on a tree?
Ghost: Ohhh…you know…Mumbai is so crowded…Even ghosts from Bihar and U.P are coming to Mumbai in search of more dead-bodies and bones to fend for themselves…So we have very few options left when it comes to accommodation…I think we ghosts also should beat these outsider ghosts just like a political outfit does in Mumbai…
Me: That’s not going to solve your problem…Anyways…How did u become a ghost?
Ghost: Marriage and suicide…
Me: Aren’t they synonyms?
Ghost: Yes…they are…But most of the times, latter is the result of first one…
Me: You hang out at midnight…You don’t have any work to do…Don’t you get bored? What do you ghosts have for entertainment?
Ghost: We go out for dating with Bhootnis…Daayans…Chudails…We dine, drink blood wine…have a feast of flesh and to woo our dates…we sing ‘Bhootni ke’ song from Singh is King… Apart from dating, we plan an outing once in a month…on an auspicious Aamawas ki Raat…We also organize Halloween day once in a year…We celebrate it by wearing masks of human beings…
Me: Ohhh…you watch movies also??? That’s my ritual on every weekend !!…Do you enjoy Bollywood movies?
Ghost: Yes…very much…Because we watch them free of cost…nobody asks us for ticket…But sometimes we have to pay a price for it...in a different way...e.g. Few worst movies like RGV ki Aag, Hello and Hello Brother still haunt us… I still find myself waking up at midnight…screaming and shouting…I must tell you this…You know...Once Ram Gopal Varma had declared prize for watching ‘Phoonk’ alone in a theatre…To our surprise, no one was there…only ghosts were there…and this film traumatized us so much…But I love Ramse Brothers…They made our community famous…We owe a lot to them…
Me: Did you ever get inspired by such films?
Ghost: Once I saw Tabbu’s Hawaa…realizing that I can benefit from being invisible…I tried to implement this idea…I entered one house…But unfortunately, there was a male inside bathroom…And apparently, he was in mood to celebrate Delhi Highcourt’s decision to amend Sec 377…When he attacked me with ‘abnormal’ intentions, I fled from the scene…After that, I never dared for such misadventures…
Me: Any plans for 2nd Marriage?
Ghost: (Shivering with fright)…No...No...Not at all…Even male ghosts get scared with the idea of marriage…We do enjoy our life as ghosts…and consider marriage as thorn in the flesh (not that what we eat)…even though we are just skeletons..
Me: Tell me...Why do you ghosts come out only after 12 a.m.?
Ghost: Actually we have heard that all Ekta Kapoor’s K-Serials on different channels end @ 12a.m…She is the only human being who can keep us away…Anyways…Time to leave now..I have a date fixed with ‘Rangilee’ chudail tonight…But it was nice talking to you…I felt like I was chatting with my best friend…Let me ask you one thing… Are you single??
Me: Yes…Otherwise I would not have been chatting so late and wasting my time..
Ghost: I have a ghost sister who could not marry when she was alive as a human being… Will you marry her and join our community?
Now I was in real trouble…I decided to use my age-old trick…You could guess it easily… I started dancing…I thought my dancing-style would scare him for his ‘dead’ life…But surprisingly, he looked delighted…
Ghost: Ohhh…You dance so well…You would be a ‘hit’ in our g'Rave’ parties…Daayans and Chudails would love to dance with you… You are a perfect fit to be my laadla jeeju… And I know you had an affair (in desperation) with extra-terrestrial female... Why don't you try out this proposal?
Now it was the time to use my last weapon…I started discussing marriage and its ill-effects… Love and its correlation with Money....Suddenly he screamed, yelled, shouted…and disappeared…From that day, I never found any ghost hanging on trees near my window…
No comments:
Post a Comment