Mythological IPL....Indra Prastha League…

(Warning: Read this post only if you are good at Indian Mythology...)

This time God was fed up with life in heaven…He wanted to bring some entertainment, but had no idea how to do it...He searched for a right person to come up with innovative ideas…As he referred to records of each citizen in heaven, he came across my profile…I had submitted a fake certificate…which showed that I had participated in college festivals as a volunteer…He thought that I had enough experience in Event Management and called me upon to discuss the matter…And impressed with my idea, he again committed a mistake of making me in-charge of the event…

I launched an event called IPL - Indra Prastha League…between 2 teams viz; Mytho-Heroes and Dare-Devils…I completed the formalities of auctions, contracts, broadcasting rights, etc etc…To make the environment in the stadium lively and cheerful…I employed a DJ there and asked him to belt-out peppy Hindi songs only…(Because I could never understand lyrics of English songs in my life…except one English song: Brazil)...I Deployed Menaka-Urvashi-Rambha-and-other-Apsaras as Cheer-leaders…(I am better at finding alternative uses of scarce resources)…Served Amrut in the pavilion (just like Vijay Kaallya served beer in the Banglore stadium)…

And history repeated itself through this IPL match...

Mytho-Heroes won the toss and elected to bat first…

Bheema used Gada for batting and hit sixes only… Some bowlers of Dare-devils used bows-n-arrows to send cricket-ball at higher speed towards the batsmen…Dushasan was asked to do fielding on boundary-line…but he was often seen to be busy in fiddling with clothes of cheer-leaders…He was repeating Vastraa-harana episode there…Unfortunately cheer-leaders didn’t have miles of saree material to cover them up…They just kicked him hard and he had to declare himself ‘retired hurt’…Abhimanyu again couldn’t clear the Chakrya-vyuha of close-in fielders and didn’t trouble scorers much...Laxman got injured and God Hanuman brought medicines for him from Neelgiri mountain...Raavan wanted to tease him and repeat the Monkey-gate scandal...But he still had not forgotten 'Lanka-on-fire' episode...

When Dare-devils turned up for batting…Bhima came to bowl; his beamer landed on Duryodhana’s thighs and drew blood out of it…(In the past, Bhima had vowed to do this act…to take revenge of Draupadi’s insult)...Raavan arrived on the crease with his 10 heads…Sponsor ran out of money after providing 10 helmets to him…And he could virtually monitor movements of a bowler and other 9 fielders (excluding wicket-keeper)…He remained not-out in the match… Jaydrath didn’t come out for batting…as he was scared of flood-lights…He thought Krishna would switch off the lights and would kill him… (In the past, Krishna had killed him by creating artificial darkness with his sudarshan-chakra)…Karna was taking his guard…Seeing him not ready for delivery, Arjun sent a Yorker knocking the stumps...(In the past, Arjun had killed him when he was trying to bring a wheel of chariot out of mud)… Laxman’s bouncer broke Shuparnakha’s nose…and she complained to Raavan again…He couldn’t do anything…as he didn’t want to lose out on the contract amount…remembering what happened with Bhajji in 'Slap-gate' scandal…Arjun, as a fielder, got credited with many run-outs as he could hit the stump with one eye closed…

And Mytho-Heroes predictably won the match…As Good always prevails over bad…

Other Details of the Match: Bhishma wanted to watch this IPL match…Being used to bed-of-arrows, he couldn’t sit on a chair…Later, a special bed-of-stumps was arranged for him… Kumbhakarna thought a day-n-night match would continue for a year…As his 1 day equaled 6 months and he slept for 6 months thereafter…Shakuni-mama operated as a punter, taking bets on matches…Dhrut-rashtra was appointed as an umpire…to help Dare-devils win…by turning a blind eye to all the appeals against them…But it didnt help them at all...As he wanted to go to rest-room...He frequently raised his finger during Dare-devil's inning...Sanjay played the role of commentator (In the past, he used to update Dhrut-rashtra about war happenings…He was the first LIVE news channel reporter in the world…)

And Pandavaas again lost a bet on match and were sent on earth for vanvaas…