After reading so much on the financial turmoil going on, its effects on job market and placements at B-schools, it was easier for me to get frustrated…I tried my best to remain positive, but finally the cynical and pessimistic brain overpowered an eternal optimist soul within me…I searched out for career options that I can have in the present (and worst) scenario…Here is the List:
1) It is highly likely that I would take lot of time to get placed somewhere (because of market conditions)…Till that time; I can study each n every aspect of Finance and be a Finance Guru…Then I can deliver lectures at some new chintoo-mintoo management college as a Professor, to earn my bread n butter…
2) I can open a new Management Institute…(But I don’t have a pony-tail like Ravindram Choudhary!)…where receiving donations would be core-business instead of management education…
3) The only way to get placed is to start a new business…Now you will ask me, from where I am going to raise funds…I will take a loan from major Indian bank which is about to bust…Who cares for repayment, as it is going to bite the dust…(ohhh…this is turning out to be Sab-Rhyme Crisis)...
4) Just like M&A specialists or turnaround specialists, I can become a Bankruptcy Specialist. There is enough scope to advise banks/firms how to go bankrupt, avoid your liabilities, complete the formalities and fetch maximum price by selling your assets…
5) I can start a placement agency or launch a job website for the people who became jobless in this financial crisis…I can register a domain name like subprimejobs.com (just like BPOshaadi.com)…and will be the 1st one to register my name there as a job seeker…
6) I can be an astrologer instead of Equity Research Analyst…When stock market moves on the basis of sentiments and news, people can be easily fooled to believe in movements of stars and planets, when it comes to investing in stock markets…
7) I can work as a News reporter for ET…covering news of current fiasco…how markets are going from worst to badly worst or worse than worst…
8) I can hire psychologists to open a chain named as ‘Subprime Consultants’…I can earn loads of money when people frustrated by ongoing crisis will come to us for counselling…But right now, I need a psychologist…Again, I will be the first client there…
(P.S: If you can come up with more ideas/options, please let me know…I need HELP!!…)
7 comments:
Well,I have anothr career option fr u...u can teach ppl how to write a humorous account of any financial crisis :)n thus lift the clouds of gloominess crowdng the economy.....
Yogi, i can help with the placement agency / job website if u decide to go for it !!
hmm... another career option for you: become a househusband (homemaker would be the politically correct term).
but warning: it's a full-time job, and there is no retirement !!
Ok.... here are a few more money-raking in schemes:
1. Sell your articles as stress busters
2. bcum a Yogi Gyaani Baba - deepak chopra ishtyle gyaan baatna about how power of positive thinking can help the stock market revive and that if it has crashed then its a sign that you were supposed to lose money!
3. Write a best-seller book... possible titles could be:
a) Gone with the Crash
b) 3 investment mistakes of my life
4. Expand your horizons and let loose your creativity - make a movie...
a) Kuch Kuch Hota Hai - wen the stock markets crash!
b) Jab we liquidate
c) Index toh pagal hai
5. And, m sure by then there will be enuf of reality shows tracking the lives of those adversely affected by the sub-prime crisis... Survivor, Lost, Khatron ke Khiladi (stunts will now involve investing in under-performing stocks)!!!!!
I guess subpime crisis isn't so bad when you are creative enough to invent new career options. Your article is not only a good read but also a good career guide. Being a bankruptcy specialist looks interesting in recent times and it sure would fetch good returns.
hi,great article and great job opportunities, u have thought of plzzz implement these ideas fast so that we can also apply for these jobs....:)
and one more job career option would be become a event organiser where:
1.you can organise financial shows for those ppl who enterd in to finance only becuase everyone talks about finance....
2.you can organize financial debates like how to talk continuously on finance by not being in to finance..(for ppl who r sharemrket "experts" e.g. panwalas,rikshawdrivers,taxi drivers..)
or more better option, become an financial item boy so dat you can give your "performance" wherever ppl want u to perform....!!
yogeshh ... after considering all the stand-by and extremely innovative activities from you and from the JO.... (subject to the current market condition... read the following matter carefully), I have decided to change my stream to "counselling on anything and everything". And with all the blessings of blog writers like you, I have eventually been succesful in short listing a career option which is not psychic at all and has helped me to get rid of the kingdom of boredom.
So let me help you get a peep into my counselling heroics.
Rules for counselling for the people who suffered through the markets and suggesting them career options
1) All the career options by Yogesh are purely incidental and absolutely not fictitious.
2) Any further adoption of these options will be charged. (Commission expected :-)
3) Above two rules are subject to change as per "yo" and not as per the market
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