Me: An aspiring writer!

Last month, I was seriously thinking of writing a book...and I was in search of a right script/story/subject, which will guarantee a sale of millions of copies and give me a Booker Prize in my 1st attempt of writing a book!! While evaluating various options, my thinking process was as follows:

“Should I write a book on Finance? No! I am not a Finance expert. I am just a Finance student! And anyways, Finance book does not get a Booker prize…

Should I write an auto-biography? No! I can’t even think of anything great I have done in my life…Now don’t say I will misinterpret auto-biography as Auto Sector Research report…Sometimes I can think of other-than-finance things!

Should I write about Politics? No! I have not done any scam or fraud in my life. Nor I have received Rs.25 crores for my vote…So I can’t write any sensational stuff…

Then any page3 type book? No! I am not a celebrity. (I am not even sure whether my neighbours know me by my name!) Hence, being a common man, I can neither reveal secrets of other persons nor write gossips in my book…

Then sports? No! I used to play cricket on my building’s terrace only…not at playground…and I do know about cricket only…and not other games…

Then bollywood films? No! I watched Kismat Konnection and got a severe headache…and my left eye got swollen…Long time back, I had watched Hello Brother and afterwards I never felt the need to have a haircut in my life! Hence no chance for Bollywood movies…

Should I write something, adopting Chetan Bhagat’s style? Ummm…His book’s titles always start with an odd digit…like One Night @ Call centre, Three mistakes of my life and Five point someone…(if he decides to use 9, then book’s title will be “nav-ratra” – based on Dandia nights at Ahmedabad!) If I need to know which particular digit or sequence of digits might prove lucky for me, then I must consult Haseena Baano Jaan! And she will charge $10 for every question…Too costly!”

While I was still pondering over subject of my book, news had spread everywhere that I was an aspiring writer and wanted to publish my own book. After some days, a publisher came to my house and asked whether I will write stories for Chandamama! I said No to him…and immediately gave up a thought of writing…I didn’t want to discourage children from reading books and spoil India’s future!...